Thousands of teenagers across South Florida recently graduated high school, marking the beginning of significant transitions for families. This period is often thrilling for parents who feel pride in their child’s achievements and excitement about their next steps, whether that’s college or another path. As the initial excitement settles and the last child moves out, couples enter the empty nest phase of their lives.

According to Dr. Paul Farah, a professional who works with empty nest couples, it’s common for this transition to bring sadness, grief, depression, stress and anxiety. He explains that most parents adjust to these emotions within a couple of months after their child leaves home and are unlikely to face lasting negative effects.¹ It’s important to remember that every individual’s experience is different and there is no one-size-fits-all response or timeline for adjusting to an empty nest.

Reactions to Becoming Empty Nesters

How parents navigate this new phase can depend on the strength of their relationship, individual coping styles and their ability to adapt to change. Broadly speaking, couples tend to react to becoming empty nesters in one of the following ways:

Renewing the Relationship
Many couples see this time as a new beginning and a chance to reconnect. Success often depends on recognizing how the relationship has evolved – from dating to raising a family and often navigating blended family or co-parenting dynamics. Rebuilding or maintaining a strong connection requires conscious effort and presence from both partners. While some do this on their own, others benefit from professional guidance.

Pursuing Individual Paths
Other couples choose to separate, often due to emotional distance, lack of intimacy, poor communication or few shared interests. In some cases, this resembles “roommate syndrome,” where one or both partners have focused more on their careers, hobbies or personal goals rather than their relationship.

Some spouses wait until the children have left before separating, believing it’s best for the family. However, London-based family solicitor Atifha Aftab challenges this view in her article Debunking the Myth of Staying Together for the Sake of the Kids. She writes, “In an unhappy relationship, it’s easy to think that keeping the family together can be the selfless thing to do, thereby protecting the children from the trauma of divorce.”²

In reality, children often notice their parents’ conflicts. Growing up in such an environment can lead them to expect unhappiness in their own adult relationships. For many parents in this situation, a healthier alternative is to divorce and create two stable, supportive homes – before the kids leave the nest – so they can experience security and emotional clarity in both spaces.

Experiencing Empty Nest Syndrome
One or both parents may develop Empty Nest Syndrome (ENS). While a common reaction to this new phase of life, long-term ENS can have detrimental effects on health, mental faculties, relationships, work and overall quality of life.

Understanding Empty Nest Syndrome

Becoming an empty nester  is a natural part of parenting. Unfortunately, it can feel uncomfortable and disorienting for couples who have spent decades deeply focused on their children, often at the expense of their self-interests. The sudden absence of daily parenting can leave many feeling unanchored. A home that was once lively may now seem still and full of memories, but lacking structure or purpose.

Extended periods of sadness, grief or depression associated with ENS frequently originate from:

• Feeling a loss of purpose or identity, as in “Nobody needs me. I no longer recognize myself. Who am I supposed to be now?”
• Feeling empty or alone, as in, “My child’s absence has left a giant hole in my heart and I have nothing else to fill it.”
• Constantly worrying, as in, “Did I prepare my child well enough to go out into the world? Will they be able to thrive without me?”
• Struggling with change, as in, “I’ve had enough disruption. I can’t handle any more.”
• Being emotionally overwhelmed, as in, “Everything reminds me that my child has left. I cry all the time. My grief is all consuming.”

People most affected by ENS often share traits such as:

• Viewing change as a threat rather than a new opportunity
• Fearing the unknown and what the future holds
• Having faced emotional trauma or hardship during their own transition from home as a youth
• Being in an unstable or unsatisfying marriage
• Having few meaningful roles outside of parenting, such as a job or personal interests
• Experiencing earlier parenting transitions as deeply painful, like weaning or sending their child off to school

When Marriages Fail in the Empty Nest Phase

Many couples grow closer during the empty nest years of their marriage. In fact, a study published by the National Library of Medicine found a strong correlation between empty nesting and high levels of marital closeness.³ However, not all marriages withstand the transition – especially when couples stayed together for the children, grew apart during the child-rearing years or find that the absence of children brings long-standing issues to the surface. Unmet expectations about life after parenting and unresolved conflicts can also resurface once the last child leaves home.

Mediation offers a respectful and structured method for these couples to part ways. With over eleven years of experience in family mediation following an 18-year career in litigation, I work closely with clients to resolve disputes thoughtfully and effectively. My approach emphasizes practical and creative solutions that support fair, balanced outcomes for both parties and their children. You can rely on my guidance to move through the process with professionalism, clarity and efficiency.

 

Sources
¹ An Empty Nest Does Not Mean an Empty Life
² Debunking the Myth of Staying Together for the Sake of the Kids
³ Empty Nest Marital Closeness Study – NLM